I have a wonderful doctor who is so compassionate and caring but still, on a cold Tuesday morning when I’d seen her about something valid and she’d been amazing, I walked out of her surgery with my mind racing, thinking that I’ve wasted her time.

A week later, I stand in the hospital room, gowned and ready to be x-rayed and two rude operatives refuse to do the procedure for various reasons.  They’re being awkward and it’s deeply embarrassing, and I walk out with that reinforced thought of “You’re wasting my time!!!”

Yesterday, I had to go and have my knee drained and a steroid injection put in.  The consultant didn’t believe I needed it to be done until she pulled a load of yellow fluid from it and all the while, that age old line is ringing in my ears “You’re wasting my time!!!”

Please hear me here, I’m not criticising the NHS as they do an amazing job.  I know it’s the enemy using people and situations to have a stab at me and pull me down.  You see, many years ago when my daughter was a baby, I took her to see a doctor who I’d been under for a long time and she was always really lovely.  On this particular day, I don’t know what had happened previously, but she was out of sorts.  My baby had been ill for several days and I had sat up with her all night trying to get her temperature down.  As instructed “if you’re ever concerned about anything, bring her down”, I took her in.  I was abruptly told “SHE’S WASTING MY TIME!!!”, “YOU’RE WASTING MY TIME!!!” and it’s stuck with me for the rest of my life.

Have you ever had that happen?  Someone in your past said something to you when you were vulnerable and it comes back every now and again.  Satan wants to pull us down in any way he can.  He wants to pull us out of the fight, the race of life, and make us weary and he will use whatever he can to do it.  

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. [9] Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. 1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT

If you’ve ever seen the film Gladiator, you’ll know that just before the fight at the end, the evil Commodus has a knife thrust into Maximus’s side to grind him down, so he has much less strength to fight. That’s what the enemy tries to do with us.  He presses on an old wound and brings it back time and time again.

So what do we do?? Whenever it happens and that lie is reinforced, we need to turn to God to dissolve it with His Truth. No matter how people choose to treat you, He always has you close to His heart.  He gets you, he understands you, he cherishes you and loves you more than you can every imagine.   If you keep focusing on Him, eventually that lie will lose it’s power and you’ll grow strong again. 

Sometimes this process takes a long time and we have to persevere with it but if we ask the Holy Spirit to help us, He will give us the strength to keep going.  It’s funny isn’t it, it’s always the negative things that we remember.  Though we’ve had many really positive experiences, the bad ones are always the ones that seem etched in our memory, but God is always here to speak affirmation over us…we just need to ask Him. 

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty saviour. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

I pray over you today, that God will wipe away those lies that have hung over you for many years and that He will sing beautiful songs of affirmation over you.