Hope

When all your enthusiasm for the New Year goes out of the window

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It seems to happen every year doesn’t it?  You get your “word” for the year, you make your resolutions, or you make decisions on what you’re going to do in moving forward…ministry, home, health, family, work and then a week in, you get ill or life happens and everything goes out of the window!  I firmly believe this is why so many people lose their motivation for the coming year and their hopes, plans and resolutions.

As I’ve said many times before, I never liked New Year.  I think it’s because many difficult things have happened in January in the past or I’ve ended up really ill.  Having an auto-immune disease means it often takes me much longer than the average person to recover from viruses.  I always used to feel apprehensive about what a new year might hold in terms of losing someone I care about or illness etc. but ever since God started naming the year for me, it’s given me fresh motivation to move into a new year with enthusiasm.

This, however, does not stop “life” happening or illness striking.  God gave me my Word of the Year “Expand” in preparation for 2024 and I felt really motivated coming into it, that God wanted to gently expand my capacity and his influence through me in all areas of my life.  Then…when the 6th January 2024 arrived, I fell really ill with a horrible flu virus (I had been vaccinated previously but it didn’t seem to make any difference with this particular strain!).  With no energy and no choice but to rest to get my temperature down and help my body recover, everything stopped.  Days of rest turned into weeks and it felt like I was never going to feel normal again.   Now, finally, I feel like I’m coming back up the other side of the dip and finally getting back into things but still feeling tired and sluggish.

It is at THIS point that you and I have a CHOICE.  Do you let all your hopes and dreams for this year remain in the fog and cloud that they’ve disappeared into and meander aimlessly on, or do you take hold of them again and despite your lack of motivation, choose to press forward?  The Bible says…

“I admit that I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness that I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose for which Christ Jesus laid hold of me to make me his own.”  Phillipians 3:12

Run with PASSION!!  I know that’s not easy when the days are dark and your brain is clouded in fog but it’s the starting that’s always the most difficult.  Pick yourself up and go again!  You can do it! We might have to do this several times but it’s the choice to go again that’s so important.  As you do that, God will fill you with strength to spur you on.

As you get going it spurs other to do the same and to keep going…

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Ultimately this is talking about pressing on towards the goal of Heaven but that track includes every day of our lives. Don’t let the disappointments of January steal your hope for 2024.  Press on with passion and enable God to make this an incredible year for you and for those around you. 

Menopause: nothing or definitely something??

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I guess the answer to this question will span over a large spectrum. Some women breeze through the menopause and have no idea what other women are talking about when they complain of symptoms. For others, it changes their lives out of all recognition. I would put myself right in the middle of that range.

As I grew older and into “that window” (btw…how on earth did I get here already??), I expected to start having hot flushes and night sweats. I was familiar with the fact that I might become a bit forgetful. However, I was not prepared for the thick blanket of brain fog…the rollercoaster of mood…feeling like I don’t quite know myself anymore…or losing my motivation and creativity (it was still there…I just had to make myself search for it!).

Maybe you’re going through this right now and feel completely lost…

What on earth is happening to me?

Why don’t I feel in control of my life anymore?

I’m normally so organised but at the moment, holding my plans and keeping on top of things feels like trying to keep hold of a pile of wet fish!

I can’t get out of bed in a morning with all these aches and pains, everyone is getting on my nerves and my head feels like mush (oh wait a sec while I just have a hot flush)!

Sound familiar?

It’s so often at times like these that we try to “fix” ourselves and “make” ourselves be ok! Not possible I’m afraid…but there IS hope. There is some fantastic medication out there which can help to bring balance to your body and so it’s important to see a doctor (as well as having several showers a day and…) what was I going to say? I don’t know, I’ve forgotten. It’ll come back to me…(it doesn’t :D).

This is a time we need to rest in the arms of God. To hear his affirmation over us.

Psalm 91: 1-2

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.

No one knows us like our Father. He knows us better than we know ourselves and when our body and mind is going through a strange transition, He sees us and He understands. He never undervalues it. Yes, in the scheme of things, me or you going through the menopause is a very small thing but to us, at that time, it’s hard and He values that, He values us and walks through it with us. I think one of the hardest things about the menopause is that we’re not exactly sure when it begins and we certainly don’t know when it will end. For me, I just realised after a few years that things were calming down and I felt more motivated and less emotional. I’m still waiting for my memory to get back in line but I’m sure some of that is my age! We can’t fix what we don’t understand and what we can’t have no control over.

Phil 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I love this…it’s the perfect model in any situation.

Don’t worry

Pray… Pour out your heart and share with God what you need

Thank Him for all He has done and is doing

When we thank Him, our focus shifts from worry and desperation, to hope and thankfulness. Try it, it really works!

Finally, as you do this, take time to rest or take a break by going for a walk and let His peace wash over you. He’s got you!

Between the gates

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What an odd way to start a blog…not IN somewhere or something…but between it! 🙂  This is where I feel I’ve been for quite a while…between the gates. 

It’s that place where you’ve emerged from one gate and closed it but haven’t gone through the next one yet.  At first, being between the gates may feel like a relief…you’ve just come out of a job, a difficult relationship or an era of your life that’s come to an end.  Maybe you feel a sense of completion or maybe you feel lost – having no idea what is coming next.  Maybe you feel hurt or tired and need healing or time for restoration.  It’s difficult because you can see where you’ve come from and know what that feels like, but you can’t see very much of where you’re going…maybe just a glimpse but certainly nothing you can be sure of.

Dwelling between the gates generally feels like a safe place in the beginning.  It’s kind of like the no man’s land where you can rest and very little is expected of you.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”  Matt 11:28-30

It’s a place where God can gently strip away habits or ways that He doesn’t want us to carry ahead with us and where new creativity can be born and grown.  It’s super important that we rest in God as long as He calls us to and don’t try to go rushing straight through the next gate.  Some of God’s greatest work is done within us in this place between the gates.  Our relationship with Him deepens in ways it could never do when we’re rushing around in busyness and distracted by new and exciting adventures.  Of course there’s learning in that too…but it’s different.

When we are here, we are not hiding or isolating…we are resting, healing, being restored and later being equipped. I implore you never to rush ahead when God is calling you to stop.  You’re just not ready yet.  After a while, God will begin to equip us, to bring fresh vision and dreams, to grow some of our gifts and prepare us for the next step.

Sometimes for some of us, we decide to camp here between the gates and not move forward when it’s time.  It feels safe and we decide we’ve done enough in the past and don’t want to move forward.  In fact…sometimes we want to be back in the previous field because we’re afraid to embrace what’s coming next.  We can wait too long between the gates.

As I stand here, I can hear loud voices through the next gate and I feel intimidated.  They sound self assured and loud.  Maybe I will wait here for longer.  I know I should have walked through the gate a while ago but I feel like there’s a huge invisible wall that’s grown in it’s way.  Where and when did I lose my confidence?  Was it in the diagnosis I received?  The pain of a broken relationship?  The loss of my loved one?  Or was it because I have waited here too long?  Maybe a mix of all of these. 

If I stay here too long my life will become dry and stale.  However, God is encouraging me to push through that new gate.  To trust Him.  To take a risk, though it’s not a risk at all because He is with me all the way. 

“I hear the Lord saying “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life.  I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide”  Psalm 32:8

As I turn to walk through the next gate, my heart is racing but I know God is with me.  I see a new meadow and the freedom of a blue sky and feel His motivation nudging me and spurring me forward.  In the place of lethargy, I feel fresh ideas rising up and creativity begin to stir. 

Do you feel like you’re stuck between the gates? 

Are you feeling impatient and wanting to race into the next field?  Wait and allow His love and healing to soak into you and give time for Him to equip you first. 

Do you feel like you’ve been here too long?  Take courage and trust in His leading.  He’s with you and He has so much more for you.

Unfailing Words

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“For no word from God will ever fail” Luke 1:37

I’m sat in a well-known coffee shop enjoying a bowl of hot soup on an average January day.  I’ll be completely honest, I’ve found it so hard to get motivated this week and really didn’t feel like writing (not that I don’t love chatting with you – but you know what I mean :D).  Being a goal orientated person I generally love a clean sheet to begin getting organised and make fresh plans and I’m sure many of you are the same.  So…why is it SO hard to get motivated in January!! We have a whole fresh year ahead of us and for most people January is fairly bland and empty, so it’s the perfect time to crack on and get into things – yet we’d rather sit on the sofa with a hot chocolate and watch films all day! It’s funny, because in a few months when the weather starts picking up and we’re going out much more, I’ll be wishing I had more time to do these things!

As always God gave me my word for the year on New Year’s Eve and this year it is literally The Year of the Word…Awesome!  January’s so often a time when we think back to ‘Words’ God has spoken to us over the past year and re-position ourselves once again.  Many people make New Year’s resolutions at this time of year which tend to fade pretty quickly, but God’s word over our lives NEVER fails.  I was really excited when I read this scripture this morning as know it’s a promise each and every one of us needs to hold onto.

When God speaks a Word into our lives we generally feel so encouraged, sometimes nervous and often excited.  It’s interesting sadly though, that as time moves on, it’s like the truth and power of that Word seems to dilute.  Of course, this is not because God’s faithfulness changes, it’s because our faith and patience wanes.  To put this tiny but powerful scripture in context, this sentence is spoken by the angel Gabriel to Mary – straight from the mouth of an angel!!  I reckon if anyone knows God well, other than Jesus and the Spirit, it’s the angels!  He spoke this to Mary as he told her about the coming of Jesus.  He declared it as a fact and a promise for her to hold onto.  I wanted to share this with you today to encourage you to keep this scripture in your heart and mind and speak it out whenever you need it this year.

There are so many promises in the Bible to read and hold onto.  Be assured today that He will never leave you or forsake you; He knew you before you were even born; He who began a good work in you will continue it until completion; He loves you with an everlasting love; if you believe in Him He will give you eternal life.  He walks beside you, loves you, heals you, directs you, knows you.  Whenever you doubt that, remember this very special verse from an angel “For no word from God will EVER fail”.

All those words spoken over your life WILL come to fruition in His time.  Hold onto Him and let Him walk you through each day, knowing He has you, He will never forget you and He will never forsake you.

Father, thank you for Your word.  Thank you that You speak into my life in so many ways.  Thank you for Your promises.  I’m so grateful today that You understand how hard it is for me to hold on sometimes but you give me Your amazing word to keep me going.  Thank you that Your word will NEVER EVER fail.  In Your Name, Amen.

 

Unimaginable Sacrifice

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“He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

As it’s Good Friday today, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts of what Jesus has shown me over this last year. I have shared before about how sometimes I can feel a little immune to many stories that happened and are spoken about in the Bible, because I was brought up on them so have always known them. I don’t think I’ll ever be immune to my feelings about the crucifixion…However, I don’t think I could even slightly access the depth of what Jesus really did until now. I am forever grateful for what He did for me on and through the cross and thank Him for that every day. So last Easter I decided to focus, not just on what He accomplished for me, but what He did for mankind. As it was my Year of Sacrifice and I spent the whole year wanting to get to know Jesus in a far deeper way, Easter was particularly poignant.

Recently I’ve watched a fair few documentaries and ‘real’ dramas about difficult issues. In my naivety I had no idea of the sadness of the red light area in Amsterdam with the prostitutes in the shop-like windows. I have heard and watched testimonies of child abuse, murder, exploitation, sex trafficking, abandonment, manipulation. All heart-breaking and hard to get your head around. I will mention at this point that this is not all I’ve been filling my head with, but there does seem to have been a lot more of it in the media recently.

Isaiah 53:5 NIV says “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” The NLT verse 4,5 says 4 “Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.”

It breaks me to think of this happening to Him just for my sin but when I think of Him taking upon Himself all the sin of the world…past, present and future…I cannot contain the shock and grief I feel. One of the things I always respect God for so much is that He can see all the terrible terrible things that go in our world – all the pain, hurt, grief, disappointment and shame. If I were to feel that on behalf of just one other person, especially if they had been through terrible things or caused terrible things, I could not contain the shame and pain. Yet…He sees it all every day and still loves us so much. Jesus had to literally take all of that on Himself – billions of people’s hurt, confusion, pain and shame. I have tears rolling down my face as I’m typing this. He did it though…because of His great love for us…and went into hell on our behalf, then rose again in such glory to bring us the incredible eternal life that we don’t deserve and to walk with us through every moment of our lives.

This Easter, allow Him to stretch your mind a little so you can grasp just a little bit of what the cross really means.

Burning Fire

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Fire

“Why do you turn away from me?” Job 13:24

Sitting glaring into a crackling fire always makes me feel at peace.  Unfortunately, we don’t have a real fireplace in my house or a wood burner but I find having a crackling fire in 4K still does the trick. There’s something about the constancy of the burning flames that calms my worries and fears. Last week I was chatting to someone at church and actually caught myself saying to them, “Well, all we can do now is pray and trust God”. What??? This is something I think we say a lot – or is it just me? ALL we can do…well actually that is always ALL we can do. For some reason we feel this compelling desire to help God to do His job and to try and control outcomes. Then when we’ve exhausted our resources we finally let go and allow Him to move and work. Thinking about it in this moment it’s quite amusing – we, who are weak and dependant on a God who has all power to change any situation and has an amazing plan for our lives, for some reason behave as if we can do better and don’t surrender and allow Him to work.

This year I’m determined to read the Bible in One Year and I’m using Nicky Gumbel’s brilliant app to do so. A short while ago the OT readings were in Job. I don’t think any of us will ever fully understand why God allowed the things to happen to Job that took place in his life but sitting here looking into this crackling fire, it makes me think how constant He is in our lives. How terrible it would be to lose my family; to lose all my possessions; to be covered in incredibly painful sores as he was…but not only that…to have to go through it all without the intimacy of God’s presence. That was the most painful part for Job. Of course, eventually everything was restored to Job far more than before but as he was walking through the valley he must have felt so helpless.

Today, let’s not take for granted the constancy of our Father’s love and provision for us. No matter what turmoil we are in, His unending love burns and crackles for us…the flames of His compassion and the roar of His power to carry us and heal every pain never dies down – never grows cold. Trusting in the steady, safe and sureness of this should be our full focus. Knowing that when we rest in Him in surrender He takes care of everything. There’s nowhere His love and power can’t reach. He plans our very steps and walks with us as we take each one.

Remember today, He has gone before you and He is with you. Trust in the constancy of His love and support – He’s got you and He will never let you go.

Don’t despise the Small Things

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hobbit photos

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin”

Zechariah 4:10

Anyone who has met me in person will know I am not the tallest person around…in fact, though I have a rather loud voice, I’m only a mere 4ft 11. Throughout my life, I’ve often felt like there are far more drawbacks to being small than gains…not being able to see at events; dreading anyone sitting in front of me at the cinema, not being able to reach things in the supermarket (even yesterday!); always being called ‘cute’ at secondary school (you might think ‘Aw’ but when you’re trying to make your mark on the world it’s not helpful!); people thinking I was always younger than I actually was (I would welcome this one now! :D). Recently though, God has been teaching me to embrace my ‘smallness’. Not just height-wise (though that is part of my uniqueness), but who I am – me – a normal, down-to-earth person.

We spend so much of our lives wishing we were someone else or feeling the pressure to become ‘someone’. All the while God desires that you be ‘you’! There’s only one ‘you’ and never will be again. I encourage you today to make a decision that in 2019 you are going embrace ‘you’. ‘You’ as a friend, parent, child…’You’ designed, loved and cherished by God. Life and love are built one small moment at a time by normal people. God doesn’t need you to succeed by becoming something or someone – He wants to be you to be ‘You’ – the amazing person He created.

If you allow Him to use you as you are in the small moments, He will accomplish great things through you in and through the small moments of your life. I used the picture of The Hobbits at the beginning of this blog because in The Lord of the Rings it isn’t the mighty warriors that overthrow Sauron – it’s the small Hobbits. One tiny step forward at a time, loving and supporting each other, they climb into Mount Doom and destroy the ring of power. Looking at them they look very normal (apart from the hairy feet!) and nothing special, yet the assignment they accomplished was of great importance. I’m sat in a beautiful tea room writing at this moment and I’m surrounded by mothers and daughters, couples and friends happily drinking tea and eating together – sharing life…Normal people but each with a special assignment of sowing into each other’s lives.

Embrace your smallness – be You! Make the most of life’s moments and watch how God uses you to sow into people’s lives. I once read a book about a woman who experienced heaven for a few moments. She said she expected to see all her relatives and friends that she’d lost waiting there for her but instead she saw streams of connection where she’d shared life and God’s love with people and how that in turn had affected others. The streams went on and on and she was blown away by how God had used her small moments of connection and commitment.

The scripture I quoted at the beginning refers to the rebuilding of the Temple, which was built one brick at a time. Keep building those bricks of life and relationship and embrace your uniqueness today and every day.

The Little Things that Chip Away

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Jesus replied “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matt 22:37-40

A couple of weeks ago I went to collect my teenage children from church after their amazing trip to Soul Survivor, a fantastic five day convention for teenagers, where thousands come together to worship and learn more about God, aswell as indulge in water fights, foam parties and silent discos.  If you are a teenager or a parent with teenagers I would highly recommend it.  My children always come home completely on fire for God.  This said, I knew the whole coachload would be on a real high.  However, the one person who wasn’t was the coach driver!  From the second he got off the coach he was muttering under his breath and throwing his weight around.  He bellowed at a boy who knocked on the window to wave to a friend and barked as he unloaded bags and threw them at people nervously waiting for their luggage.

It struck me how quickly this had the potential to chip away at their happiness (and also the parents who were standing back observing!).  These teenagers had had an incredible time away with each other and with God and were revelling in the joy of that.  It seemed the coach driver was on a mission to single-handedly tear this down brick by brick.  The atmosphere was poisoned by his miserable attitude.  How much better would it have been for everyone, including himself, if he had hung his actions on this commandment.

Many people struggle in this world, not because of something tragic happening in their lives, but because of the little things that chip away at them day by day, grinding them down bit by bit…stealing their hope.  Many predators catch their prey in this way.  Picking at them until they lose the strength to fight back and defend themselves.

If we turn all this on it’s head and say “Why don’t we build each other up a little bit at a time?”, what a different world we would live in.  Encouragement is a powerful tool to lift people up.  Whether you’re a person of faith or not, learning to do everything out of love and care would make such a difference in so many people’s lives, including your own.  When you smile at someone in a shop or hold the door open for them you’re injecting something positive into their life and it also makes you feel good too!

The scripture says “All the Laws and Prophets hang on these two commandments” because it’s the ultimate way to live: To love God with all your heart, soul and mind and be rooted in Him and as he fills you with His love, to love others out of that.  It’s not always easy, but it’s worth the effort.  It’s often the small things that are the most powerful and have the greatest impact.  In what ways can you increase this in your life today?

You Light Me Up

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“You, O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into Light”  Psalm 18:28

I was just listening to Philippa Hanna’s song Lighthouse in my car.  In it she sings a line “I feel not good enough but you light me up”  It’s repeated twice in a row and crescendos on the second which gives it impact and it made me think about how our opinions, feelings and standards of ourselves get in the way of God’s blessing so much.  We are like stained glass lanterns, beautifully crafted in bright colours.  Each pane representing a unique and special facet of the character God created us with.  I have a lantern just like this at home and it has a little door with a tiny catch on it where you put the candle.  Situations, opinions, tough relationships and criticism come at us frequently throughout our lives.  These play on our minds and sadly grind us down and make us feel unworthy….What have I got to offer anyone?  How can God love me, I’m ugly and undesirable?  Often this criticism comes from within.  Over time we have believed the lies and they darken our perception of ourselves.  As a result, the lantern stays dull and no one gets to see the beautiful colours.  We keep the latch firmly shut, trying to appear to be doing well and keeping our real self hidden.

God longs to change all of that.  If you open the catch of your heart and allow Him in, He will light you up. He will shine through you in true colourful brilliance.  He delights in you and your uniqueness….He thinks you’re so amazing that He sings over you.  When you let Him into your life the darkness falls away and all the true colours of who He made you to be will be illuminated.   The lies will burn away and you can rest in the truth of the valuable, cherished person you are.  Open the catch of your heart today and let him light you up.

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zeph 3:17

Let your Dreams Set Sail

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Dreams Plaque

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11

I love the ability God has given us to dream, to use our imagination.  Imagination, I feel, is something used so little now compared to years ago.  I remember playing regularly on a ladder that was laid flat on my Nan’s back yard with my brothers and imagining it was a huge ship.  You weren’t allowed to step off it or you would drown in the sea (unless it was lunchtime, in which case nothing mattered but food!).  We would imagine great voyages and fighting with pirates.  Children seemed to use their imagination so much more before the types of toys they have now that are all singing and dancing.  My son loved the Tweeny ‘Jake’ and I was so excited for him when my mum bought him one for his third birthday.  I knew he’d love it!  It was quite a surprise when he opened it and all he did was shake it and say “What does it do!”

We live in an age where everything is done for us and sometimes become lazy even in our dreaming and especially in working with God to make those dreams come to fruition.  I had dreams in my heart that had faded due to busyness and illness.  In January 2015 God spoke to me through a word a friend gave in church and it changed my life.  She said “I feel God is saying there is someone here who is like a ship that is stuck in the harbour and God is saying that while ever it sits there it’s getting damaged.  God is saying it’s time to set sail out onto the ocean”….I knew this word was for me and in relation to the dreams in my heart.

Are there lost dreams in your heart?  Do you need to begin dreaming again? Helen Burns once said “While ever there is breath within you God can use you and do great things in you”  Dream big – don’t just get stuck in one place, and allow God to work in those desires He has for you and has done since you were planned in the secret place.